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Thursday, March 28, 2013
Getting used to things..
I am so off.. And I KNOW its because of all the recent things that happend to me in the past 2 weeks.
with going to Hawaii and then being used to Island time then comming back to Cali Time then changing my whole work time and environment.. my sleep mode is all whacked out- I think my body is in shock too cuz its never had sooo much sleep in YEARS... And all these diffrent changes has made my mind also mentally exhausted.. I'm sooo GLAD tomorrow is FRIDAY..
I get to have my kids this weekend too which is SUPER GREAT because its Easter Sunday.
I'm a little upset because my kids dad kinda pushed it upon them to call his new wife "mom"
This broke my heart when my lil one slipped.. I'm MOMMY NO ONE ELSE AND MOM IS THERE GRANDMA NOT HER.
NO offense-
but I hold my title with pride because I've been thru sooo much- NO ONE CAN JUST BE A MOM- STUPID PUNK ASS.. I HATE HIM FOR THAT. BUT on the twisted side or me being whatever.. he's lucky-
REALLY LUCKY- because the lady that he is married to now seems to be VERY NICE AND SWEET.. and because she treats my children AS her own or at least it seems like it.. and for that... I AM GREATFUL..because he could've ended up with someone horrible.. and so yes.. thank you GOD for a nice kind lady.. but .. it just hurts because I'M THEIR MOM.. AND NO ONE ELSE IS BUT ME.. I RAISED THEM PRETTY MUCH ON MY OWN.
dickhead-
I will not make my kids if I ever got re-married.. I wouldn't make them call dude DAD- UNLESSS they wanted to.. it would be there own choice.
I could understand if they were all younger like toddlers 3 or 4 years old.. its diffrent.. but when they're already in there double digit age?
Ok i'm tired of being in this messed up funk- time to change the energy and make it more positive vibe.. YES TOMORROW IS FLYDAY!!! AND TODAY.. I'm still alive kicking and breathing..
Thank you GOD for everything .. literally Everything..