Living and Learning..

Everything I do is like a mini adventure... EVERYTHING..it can be a bad, sad, happy, sexy, crazy.. but its always an ADVENTURE. Anyways..i'm just blogging and venting random things because right now.. I have time to.. I've been wanting to get ALOT of things off my chest or vent out or whatever... One thing is... I WILL NO LONGER BUY silky panties!!! i am always sucha a stupid sucker for them cuz they feel nice, soft, and silky... but shit... once I start walking around and whatever... i slowly start to feel them slip off.. but my dumb ass goes into Denial.. but yea.. so I'M WRITING IT DOWN.. no mo silky draws... unless they're for.. haha.. sleep. I love Sandie and Dee.. they are trully my sisters from another Mister.. hahaha.. When I told Sandie what I did .. and how horrible I felt.. both of them where there for me just like I needed.. I just felt sooo bad towards Isaac.. I felt like shit.. it reminded me when I got busted for beating that one chick up when I was kid at Franklin Jr. high.. and my Coach from Softball.. ohhh fuck.. I was 13 I cut out school with my homegirls to beat this one chicky up.. which I did.. and also broke her nose and fractured her rib cage... Vallejo Police arrested me... and one of the arresting officers kept on looking at me and said.. HEY!!! THIS IS "TONY'S MVP PLAYER!!!" I remember that hurting pain shoot out from my heart screaming NOOOOOO!!! PLEASE DONT TELL MY COACH... but they did... Called him off the street on Radio... I remember Tony walking into to the holding cell, taking me out.. give me the stink eye.. as if he was gonna execute me himself... He brought me into one of the interegation rooms... made me sit across the table at him and he just stared at me.. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME ANNA? THEY PICKED YOU UP FOR CUTTING SCHOOL AND BEATING UP ANOTHER GIRL? YOU THINK YOU'RE SOME BAD BITCH?!!!" I remember Tony saying all of this to me and then some.. it was worse than my own parents giving it to me.... why? i don't know.. because he was my coach.. I was his MVP.. AND I HAD SERIOUSLY, DEVASTATED AND DISAPPOINTED HIM... This was the first time I felt my heart break- not because i was in love with my coach or anything like that.. but because I had soo much respect for this man, my teacher, my coach... and there I was.. in the police station.. FUCKING UP. I felt the same pain again when everything went down with Isaac on Monday Morning... even now when I think about it... I feel like SHIT.. BUT ITS GOOD- because it makes me realize... WHAT I DON'T WANNA BE OR DO AGAIN. I was super surprised Isaac texted me Tuesday morning.. I remember waking up.. feeling hurt because...it dawned on me that I could possibly never hear from him again.. and it hurt.. because I honestly feel Isaac is something Diffrent... and he didn't deserve any of that.. I'm just glad we're still friends.. I wish.. we could actually spend more time together. I'm leaving soon in less than a month.. i'm looking forward to it... this time.. I will actually be able to exhale alot out.. I need this- ok gotta do shit.. i'll write later... love you, miss you, and Mwah (~.~)