this weekend...

So I've been sober no Alcohol- for about a week.. it was SUPER ROUGH THIS WEEKEND.. My other home girl who is also trying to quit and drinks WAAAAY more than me.. started drinking this Saturday night while at the party. I wanted to have a glass sooooo bad- but I couldn't-.. I ended up leaving early... I was going to stop at the liquor store and buy a bottle of Tequila.. I even argued with myself.. no one would know- no one would ever know if I drank or not- fuck.. i'm all by myself anyways... but then I really thought about it... and then ended up renting and buying HELLA DVD movies-I ate an edible laughed, cried, and fell asleep. I don't wanna be the type of person that says something.. and not put any action behind it. If I proclaim something, I wanna have integrity and respect to MYSELF- I was right no one would KNOW if I downed a bottle- But I would.. and I worked and strived too hard ... to let ALCHOL stop me from getting to my fullest potential as a person, as a mom, as a women. I'm not saying I won't EVER drink alcohol again.. Because, I will one day.. but ONLY if it wine and ONLY IF it is a special occasion.. other than that.. I'm not trying to get into the hard alcohol again.. Its Lonely without my kids around on the weekends.. but then again.. its ALSO my PEACE and QUITE time.. which is good.. cuz I be BUSTING ASS with these kids during the weekdays, Homework, cleaning house, working out, school stuff, them fighting with each other, them arguing with me, Dinner, making sure they have lunch the next day..etc.. I'm trying to think of what is next.. what can I get into next... TOUGH MUDDER is comming up and I seriously wanna make a crew to do this... and although I've been working out like a BEAST.. my eating habits are shitty.. so I need to change that too..No sugar less carbs more protein... and START TAKING my vitamins DAILY.. AND MY IRON PILLS- I'm venting, ranting, or whatever.. on random shit.. I'll write more later.. have a meeting to go into.. uggh... I love you, miss you, mwah-