Go with the flow..

So I talked with one of my homies yesterday and I told her what I was going thru how I felt and questioned WHY do I feel like i'm STUPID or something...i'm in fucking Lala land all the mother fucking time I think about him or what we did... She said it blunt and to the point- I'M SPRUNG.. or I'M FALLIN HARD for dude.. I ROLLED MY EYES AT HER HARD- We both laughed but for that split second I seriously had to think about this WHOLE FUCKING WONDERFUL YUMMY SITUATION that i am in... I laughed told her to Sshut the fuck UP -because I'm hard like that.. and that's when she said it too,... Stop trying to be all HARD about dude.. just go with the flow.. Whatever this is.. just go with it- let the Ice heart melt- "I swear i wish she didn't say that.. but deep inside... it was soo true" These days being in a "whatever type of relationship" is HARD..my heart isn't like how it seems.. sooo..yeah.. maybe i'm just over fucking analyzing the whole situation.. Back in my days.. if a RESPECTABLE chick messed with the same guy for more than 3 times- THEY BECAME AN ITEM AUTOMATICALLY. Now these days.. you mess with a guy or a girl more than 3 times... then you're just that.. and kinda floating.. not knowing.. where this is leading to. All I know is.. I think about him ALL THE time.. When we talk, text..I feel like i'm fucking school girl CRUSHIN HARD. When we Touch..I EXPLODE.. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.. TILL HE KNOCKS ME OUT. Oh mi gosh .. I hate him.. for making me feel like this.. I hate him for making me want him like this.. I HATE him.. because HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY.. that's the fucking worst part.. it gets to me soo FUCKING BAD... I keep on debating in my head.. maybe just let him go.. I don't wanna be hurt, I don't wanna give this man a chance to even hurt me. But.. maybe he isn't here to hurt me.. humm 1 out of the last 4 guys I would highly considered letting into my life like that.. you think ONE might not?.. I dunno.. I love Tony.. but I'M not in love with him.. I was about 5 years ago.. I remember feeling just like this when me and him.. The WORD BLISS came to mind... AND WAS DEFINED... then.. was lost.....and then.. it came back again.. when I started seein Isaac...totally diffrent.. situations.. lives.. later... Isaac has brought "BLISS" back into my life.. in more ways than one... Maybe that's all Isaac is.. just "fun". Maybe.. That's all I am to him.. just fun.. I don't know.. I'm jus gonna do what she said.. and go with the flow.. I do know this.. because Of Isaac.. I changed ALOT of things that I wouldnt have normally done.. and I wouldn't do this for anyone else..and i'm not doing it for him.. but.. He just makes me wanna be a better person.. why the fuck is that? WHY?!! uggh.. Stupid hormonal emotions.. Stupid HIM.. FOR breakin me down inside like this.. for making me feel out of control.. for making me SUPER FUCKING HOT WHEN I THINK ABOUT HOW WE GET DOWN AND HOW HE DOES ME... FUCKING AYE... FUCKING AYE!!! Yea.. fuck it.. its too good to stop now.. i gotta go with the flow.. and just like with everything else that has happend to me.. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. WORD-