Yesterday my sis texts me
and says: “ something has happened to Boo-Boy..”
I asked: what??
She texts me back: “he commited suicide… Eddie & Jackie have to go down and ID his body..”
REALLY?? Another ONE?? WTF is going on??? WHY??!!! Was it that bad he couldn’t go to anyone?? And he was only 21!!!!!!
Ohhhh- my heart fell, sank, and broke… My older kids hung out with him, my nieces and nephews too.. literally he was part of the family..
I feel so bad for Eddie and Jackie… he was their youngest.. He was soo young…
I couldn’t imagine being in their shoes.. getting a call that the police has found your child’s body… and you have to come down to Identify him… OHHH FUCK.. THAT HURTS SOO BAD INSIDE… knowing what Jackie has to see, and do… I’m praying HARD for that whole family… God.. please bless them, give them strength, and mostly comfort their hearts Lord.…
The worst part… Eddie’s gun was missing.. and they think Boo-boy took it and drove off somewhere and then killed himself.
(SMH, wiping the tears away..)
My son came up to me last night and said “Mommy do you know what happened to him?” How was I suppose to explain that to my 13 year old.. I didn’t want to.. but I did.. and at the end.. I told him.. “NO MATTER WHAT BABY, if you ever feel like you’ve come to a STUMP in your life, if you ever feel like there’s no way out or no one cares.. I’M HERE.. I’M ALWAYS GONNA BE HERE..and there’s ALWAYS- a way out besides KILLING YOURSELF.”
I Just wanted my kid to know that.. I NEVER want any of my kids to feel like – their life is soo horrible that the only way out is Death… because IT’S NOT-
I guess this whole situation also made me look at the bigger picture of life.. compared to my “little dilemmas” and thinking how I have it bad.. with the shit that I go thru… My little BS Drama- isn’t so bad after all… ITS ALL FIXABLE.. WORKABLE.. DO ABLE… I jus wish my cousin Nat, and Boo-Boy would’ve realized that…
They’re having a rosary/prayer for him tonight.. my son wants to go.. so I’ll be taking him.. and I know its gonna get emotional..
Ok time to change the subject.. I don’t wanna get all EMU and everything.. its just soo very sad… I couldn’t IMAGINE.. what Eddie and Jackie are going thru right now… (saying a prayer for them constantly)
Anyways…on a lighter funny weird note-
I think I wrote about Marlon the Alhambra Guy?.. He’s our water guy… and last time he saw me.. he was giving me “that Look” he had made a funny comment about my age and how he was gonna leave his wife and come back to get me- lol.. anyways.. I saw him yesterday morning refilling our water tank and dropping off water bottles, I noticed him pass my door a couple of times.. back and forth.. then he stops and says.. “uh. .. I just wanted to say hi!” and then gives me “that Look” again… I smiled, and said “Good Morning Marlon~” he had this huge GRIN on his face.. Then, he started pointing at me and shaking his head in a “no” manner ..then he goes on to saying… “MAN!! You just don’t know!!!” I was confused for a second and just giggled… as he walked away I hear him grunting like TIM the tool man “GrRRR” grunt kind and then sighing with a “man!!” lol.. its cute.. whatever that means..
At lunch my home boy Ryan that works at AIG hits me up and says lets have a cigarette..so I meet him downstairs near the post office..
He starts telling me about his wife and something about how she sent him a link on facebook and that he needed a tissue… I was like “huh?”
So he ends up putting his head phones on my ears and goes on to his facebook and shows me this link… it was on youtube about this guy named Emanuel from Iraq in London on Xfactor-
Ok first off I’m not a real big American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Xfactor fan… I probably only seen 3 minutes of one of the shows… and that’s it.. I don’t follow it like everyone else does… but this Youtube video that Ryan started showing me … made me think otherwise-
OMGEEEEE… I WAS BALLING AND CRYING after watching it.. the dude’s story of his life.. the song that he sang… it was really emotional and inspirational… I don’t wanna write about it.. look it up- Maybe I’ll post a link on here … but ya definitely a must see..
And after watching that clip.. that made me really take a closer look on how my life is today… and what my goals are for tomorrow- Made me think a lot about how I perceive things and other people too-
Well no over time for me tonight.. I emailed my boss yesterday told her I started Hula/Tahitian with my girls again… so today- I WON’T be busting my ass with reports.. but I will be shaking my ass for class tonight!! Lol ..I look forward to it.. need to release some stress…maybe I’ll do a couple of rounds on the punching bag too.. I worked out on Sunday.. but its not ENOUGH-this SUCKS!! Me not being able to work out HARD yet due to the “twins”.. they’re still adjusting - I did the UFC training on the Xbox Kinect… and I LOVED IT!! I did like 4 activites then my Virtual trainer tells me to NOT OVER EXCEED so I had to stop.. kinda neat.. I had to do PT first… so I had to do as many Push ups, sit ups, and jumping jacks… as much as I can.. each for 1 minute…
I did about 30 pushups, 42 situps, and I think 55 jumping jacks.. in each minute I had.. Not bad.. BUT NOT GOOD EITHER.. I wanna bring those number s up- I got the jumping jacks.. but the sit ups… UGGH.. that’s a different story.. PUSH UPS- I’m alright with.. but like I said.. I could do better…
Ok gonna wrap it up now.. I’m praying EVERYONE ..stays safe and blessed always ~
