I accepted way less than I deserve. But, I’ve learned from my bad choices and even though
There are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I’ll know better next time and
I won’t settle for anything less than I deserve-
Believe that-
Lou Lou posted this on her FB and I was diggin it so I reposted and blogged it.
Anyways, I needed time alone today so I turned my Que off, ditched Kim, and took break early-
I love my alone walks- when I put my head phones on.. blast my jam of the day- which happens to be “Pumped up Kicks” –
I don’t give a fahhhk what anyone thinks-that song is the ISH! It’s so 80’ish.. and I love the happy vibe it gives me even though he’s
Talking about catching a bullet.. lol… I like what one of my friends told me about their youngest daughter… she thinks part of the chorus is “you better run , better run, FASTER THAN MY BROTHER-“ lol aww.. I thought that was the cutest thing.. ok I’m rambling.. but yea.. That song is a “happy stepper song” haha.. I even got all the kids at my house cleaning and dancing to that .. heehee**
Back to my walks.. I love them.. and doing it alone sometimes, really puts me back into focus-
Plus gloomy cloudy days like these… less people on the Embarcadero.. and I LOVE having PIER 14 all to myself walking all the way down till the end of the dock… burning one, soaking up the view of the bay bridge and Treasure Island.. Mmmm I love San Francisco.. the whole view jus kinda gives me Peace of Mind.. its like meditation.. Inhaling all the positivity, and peacefulness, and EXHALING all the BULLSHIT, dumbshit, anything negative- haha.. kinda like what my other friend Michelle does she says she cleanses her ora or.. she calls it her sharakas or some shit like that.. I’m like “whatever melts your butter, makes you good, got you’re mojo flowin “ DO IT-
Sha ra ka’s or sha kira’s whatever… lol. But yea.. its always good to have alone time and just be one with yourself. Inhale, exhale, wax on- wax off… lol
So yesterday at Tahitian practice my instructer asks if I would like to be in the performance at the end of November! I told her OF COURSE!!
Awww.. I’m so excited! I love doing Hula/Tahitian performances. I’ll be doing “Fakatere Tere” It’s a Tahitian dance but the language isn’t.. its one of the smaller French Polynesian islands… anyways.. the story is about a man and he dreams of his love, and how he finds her so beautiful, like the islands.. anyways.. HE HEE (like how the stay puff marsh mellow man says)!! I think Jade and Salina’s class is going to have a performance too! It’s gonna be soo cute! Can’t wait! I wanna try and get Mia to come back to hula too.. I gotta remember to tell my sis**
I’m really iffy about going to the Rosary at Eddie and Jackie’s so I think, I’ll just go to the funeral services on Saturday. I feel HORRIBLE inside for the both of them.
Billy mentioned that Eddie told the police that he wanted to bring Bo-boy’s car back home.. the officer told him.. it probably wouldn’t be a good idea.. the car is a mess- he shot himself with a .45- OMG… I can’t even IMAGINE.. BEING IN Eddie or Jackie’s shoes.. my heart sooo goes out to them..
I let Jeff pick up Jrod and they both went last night.. He said that K was SUPER HIGH and all her makeup looked funky like it was all running down her face.. I told him its probably because she was crying.. Jrod responded, but mom she normally looks like that.. even if she cries.. I was like WHOA….ok then..
I REALLY don’t wanna be around a bunch of METH heads- especially Karen- I even told my sister yesterday.. I’ve been REAL UGLY and BLUNT with Karen- to the point where some of the shit I told her was like I was unleashing frustration about Mike’s Ex-baby’s mama- I guess CUZ they’re both ALIKE-
But at least I know Karen- I know she feels horrible about everything.. my last words to her was..
” I’m not trying to be mean- But it really doesn’t matter if you’re sorry to me, or if you want mine and Em’s forgiveness..
it has nothing to do with that.. it has everything to do with your life.. and the KIDS LIFE-“
she responded back I just want you to know.. blah blah blah-NONE OF THE SHIT SHE WROTE phased me..
My final response- “YOU FUCKING METH HEAD-IS IT REALLY THAT GOOD? YOU LET YOUR KIDS GO FOR A HIGH? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR KIDS ARE WORTH LESS THAN THE DUB SACK YOU BOUGHT OF METH? YOU’RE A MOM- GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER-“
and that was it.. I never acknowledged her afterwards.. I DON’T WANT TO- its like I’m talking to a wall- fucking METH- like I said.. the most Beautiful people.. turn into … nothing… literally … nothing… smh- I’m BURNT on that crap,.. that’s why.. I just wanna stay away from it.. and just don’t even wanna deal with it-
Well its almost lunch time.. I promised Ms. Thang I’d walk with her and get our strut on..so I’m off- haha.. inhale…. EXHALE… MMM HMMM..
Love you, Miss you… Mwah~
