Madness

Suicide takes the last of any courage, hate, love, etc- you have left in your soul your being.. You get to this point where everything that you experienced in life - all the good things all the bad things all the special and hurtful moments that haunt or heal you.. Becomes a madness- a deep dark heart wrenching sadness, a cluster fuck of everything that your heart endured- and becomes a grey medium line which becomes bolder stronger darker and colder with every thought, every breath every instance you feel that "pang" inside that crumbles your heart your soul... All the negative becomes harder stronger and consumes or kills the beauty where it deceives and makes you belive that this would eleaviate everything from everyone all the hurt, all the sorrows, all the pain gone.. By initiating and then consummating this final move the final "check mate"  this world we live in is full of selfishness and stupidity no one cares about how they might affect the other person at that very moment of self satisfactory.. No one really understands the reprucussions of their actions and the seeds they plant.. You truly reap what you sow with everything., every word you speak every action you take.. I'm emu mode right now and I'm feeling it.. Big time