Date: May 5, 2011 Weight: 142.5 lbs Mood: Exotic and Happy
I came home from work yesterday and Mike surprised me and the kids with a swimming pool! I’m so excited!
I love swimming.. I love the water.. I know the kids will have a blast with this during the summer time.
Its one of those above ground pools but its pretty big. Mike started on it last night with Jrod.. they made a big circle in the back, the same size as the pool and now they’re digging to make the ground level…
Ahh I can’t wait! I used to have an inground pool in our old house in Fairfield.. we lived right next door to the park too..
I remember me and the kids would swim for hours… I used to love it on the Calm nights when my ex would be in his own world and the night was hot, after the kids went to bed.. I would
Go into the back yard by myself, light up all the tiki lights, get into the pool.. and it was just me, my voldka, the moon, and the stars… and although the mood was calm, and the night was beautiful.. I was secretly praying inside… for a better life… and guess what… He answered my prayers
Now.. at night when me and Mike has time- we go to my sisters.. (She gave Mike a spare key- so at night especially when I’m HELLA sore from working out.. we go to her place and chillax in the HOT TUB)
Like last night.. We ended up going again.. So now instead of me being by myself looking at the stars… Mike’s there right next to me, in the water, enjoying it and soaking all of it in…
We had a good talk last night.. Actually, we have a good talk every night… but anyways..He told me that when he spoke to my mom the other day, he told her that he wanted to marry me, and that he was very much in love with me and the kids. My heart melted all over again.. he said that he even ended the conversation with her by, Manong Blessing her! I remember telling Mike about this weeks ago.. that in our culture we do this to the elders- I didn’t think he would actually do it! (Filipino culture, to show respect to the olders.. you take their right hand and lightly Place it against your forehead for 3 seconds or less, to show as a gesture of blessing, and respect) I just sat there and absorbed all the words he was saying..
I told him I love him soo much.. Then he goes into saying ok Now all your friends that call you a skinny Bitch.. you have to get used to that.. because you’re skinny now babe.. I told him I still feel like the fat girl inside.. and he says.. but you’re not… Then he says.. You’re getting HOTTER AND HOTTER babe. I told to him to shut up. He grabbed me and pulled me close to him, and asked me in a serious manner, “Why everytime I try to give you a compliment or something you always tell me to shut up?” I thought about his question… and I thought about the other comments he has made.. and yea.. he’s right.. I always tell him to shut up.. I don’t mean it in a bad way.
So I told him… I’m seriously not used to it. I’m super flattered when he tells me things.. but I guess it’s the ex-fat girl syndrome.. lol.. seriously.. I never would take anyone seriously if they complimented me in regards to my looks or what not.. Mike tells me.. “GET USED TO IT BABE” You’re a Hottie..
I’m mentally shaking my head in a no motion when he tells me this cuz I’m still in disbelief that people actually think of me as that. I’m normally used to sneers, wide eyes, snickering about how fat I am… Now.. I get the complete opposite. Society IS MEAN, AND PREJUDICE… and that really is the REALITY of it. Billy even told me yesterday.. Dang Analynn! Its like you’re getting smaller and smaller, prettier and prettier and your boobs are starting to look bigger too! Me with A BLANK STARE- Gee.. umm thanks? Dude you’re like my brother! Well technically he’s my ex-bro in law but still!!! I FEEL GROSSED OUT when he started talking about my body like that.. I like the smaller and smaller part, the prettier and prettier part.. but the boob part? Umm no my boobs have actually gotten smaller! And why are you looking at them!!!
Being an overweight person was VERY HARD.. not only did I feel like a 2nd class citizen… but ..your thighs rub together and it hurts even more if you’re wearing a skirt, stretch pants are the only pants to wear, Stretch tops also..
I was always sweating hot because I was carrying all that fat around me, I always went for the Handicap restroom stall because it was just easier for me to fit in, a Mc Mini meal was a joke.. more like an appetizer to me.. I was just over indulgent, had no control, LAZY , and depressed.
Thank GOD I’m out of that DARKNESS… and I’ve gone towards the light… literally.. haha.. anyways .. Couple years back- there’s a guy here at work.. Really SNOTTY.. YUPPIE… so a couple years back when I was SUPER OVER WEIGHT.. I was walking towards the carpool line.. he had gotten off the same time and I guess his friends picked him up from work.. well his OTHER friends.. had no idea that we worked in the same building… and I guess when they saw me I became the BUTT end of their joke.. one of the guys yelled out.. LOSE SOME WEIGHT FAT BITCH! I remembered looking directly at the car.. and seeing him.. trying to hide but laughing at the same time…
I remember wishing they would all crash… but instead.. I walked alone, FAT, wanting to cry, feeling like I was a kid back in elementary school being teased.. all over again…
Now FAST FORWARD TO 2011 MAY..
Same asshole sees me again for the first time in … Months? Now he wants my number, asking everyone questions about me… THEN THE UNTHINKABLE… he asked me if I wanted to join him for a walk to starbucks… MR. YUPPIE WHITE COLAR FUCK FACE now wants to have a cup of coffee with me.. the FORMER FAT BITCH that him and all his friends were laughing about… HAIL NO!!! ASSHOLE! I GAVE him the most disgusted as if he had just took a shit in front of me or something and told him flat out.. NO. And walked away.
Even the “in Crowd” here.. yes there is an “in Crowd” in the adult work world.. its similar like the highschool clicks but more … I guess mature natured? Anyways.. There’s a group of ladies here at work.. that “THINK” they are like the SF version of the Sex and the City girls.. Ummm yea.. not really in my opinion.. but anyways them too… Stuck up bitches that just happen to be a group of Filipina chicks.. ok first off I’m not racists.. I dislike “IGNORANT” people.. They just happen to be a group of pinay ignorant bitches… so back to my story.. When I first started here… A lot of people would wonder about my nationality… I’d get mistaken for Mexican, Guamanian, Samoan… Well these bitches couldn’t figure it out if I was one of them or what… I know because I heard people asking and it was them that was asking… anyways.. I’m in general a pretty bubbly, cool, laid back funny chick. I say Good morning to everyone and just smile. Well when I would do that to these bitches.. and it was in NO WAY OR FORM about kissing ass.. but just being nice in general I guess…I would say good morning and smile.. and most of the time all they did would just slightly smile and nod there head back..
So after awhile of seeing the same stuck up bitches… and trying to be nice.. I stopped.. and everytime I would see one of them.. I wouldn’t say anything but just keep walking and look at my cellphone or whatever else that might be MORE IMPORTANT than them… There was one time I overheard them talking in tagalong in the bathroom about how big I was and How fat I was…the little laughs they made about me… hahaha… it is funny…
Its funny because just this morning BOBBLE HEAD.. that’s my nick name for her.. the leader of the pack.. bumps into me in the bathroom today… I ignore her like I usually do.. but this time she stops me and says “hey, you lost a lot of weight! What are you doing??” I wanted to spit in her face was my first instinct.. but instead I told her I work out more now.. I didn’t wanna go into detail about what I do so I kept it simple told her I go to the gym… She got all excited and asked what kinds of workouts was I doing.. did I hire a personal trainer.. am I taking diet pills?? Did I have lipo???
I kept it pretty cordial with her told her no.. just working out harder than usual.. so then she asks if I wanna join her and the other bitches 3 times a week doing Zumba out here in the city. But it was the way she asked.. as if I should be honored that she’s even asking me.. PLEASE BITCH.. YOU AIN’T ALL THAT. I’m grossed out by this stuck up bitch.. and I’m thinking in my head.. ok.. when I was FAT and when I really needed HELP IN losing weight or what not.. you bitches laughed at me..
Now I’m more fit and dropped hella weight you bitches want me to kick it with you? Join your workout group? And I’m suppose to be honored that I get to kick it with you? I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT POSTION TITLE YOU HOLD HERE at work.. all you bitches can go pitty fuck yourself.. There true colors showed..a LONG TIME AGO.. and They are something.. that I want nothing to be a part of…
Not trying to sound BIG HEADED like ms. BOBBLE HEAD.. but SERIOUSLY? … I’m ABOVE AND BEYOND these cheap tricks…
So I politely told her no, I’m commited to my Hula group and also my Tae-bo, Kickboxing, Mma class… She looked stunned when I told her what Hula group I dance with, and she was stunned to find out that I also do Muy thai… she wanted to know more.. but I told her I had a meeting and had to go. BITCH… Like I said… I’m above it~
I guess I’m jus annoyed inside.. I don’t really HATE these people.. but.. for them to treat me like shit before..and now that I’m skinnier they want me to hang around them? FUCK OFF ASSHOLES…
I don’t need ANY dumb bitches and stupid fucks bothering me or disturbing my life. I’ve been without this far.. I sure as hell don’t need them now
