In between dreams

I couldn't sleep yesterday I woke up at 3 am felt like I was having another anxiety attack.. I stayed up and got ready for work and was On my way when I got the call grandma Josie passed... I was in the middle of the freeway and had to exit out... I felt relieved and sad.. Relieved that she is no longer going thru any pain.. But sad.. That she's gone.. I went back home and threw up soo many times had a fever. I think I'm just super stressed and my body is telling me to just relax- take it easy.. But my stubborn ass.. I took a shower and I feel better today.. But still weak.. I could barely walk to the kitchen to get water.. Thank God for my lil mama Jade- she took care of me until she started getting feverish too and also nauseated.. Poor baby.. She stayed home sick with me.. I feel like a hundred days passed and I was goin non stop and now it's time to jus ease my thoughts, my heart, my body... I know grandma Josie is with Grandpa and I Know she doesn't feel anymore pain,. It's just she will be missed soooo much and that's the part that hurts not being able to see or hear her.. My tummy is hurting again- Jrod said I look like I lost another 20 lbs- ughh I'm going back to sleep to rest-