Had an OK weekend… I’ve been on a SERIOUS emotional roller coaster…On Friday afterwork.. Mike and I had an EXPLOSION.. we argued for hours…to the point where, I finally told him I no longer wanted to be with him anymore.
He asked if we COULD PLEASE JUST TRY AND WORK IT OUT- and that he wanted to do counseling…
He knows that I’ve been super unhappy lately with the recent incident and my mom… and I wanted him to understand that… That I’m really going thru a difficult time, in regards to my mom.. and him..
With this sudden move.. EVERYTHING.. I feel like I’m walking on a thin line.. and I’m VERY SCARED because.. if I fall because I have no one there to catch me…..
I talked with Sue for awhile in the morning because she had heard Me and Mike yelling and arguing before work..So I broke down, and I told her…
It was BAD enough about the whole Ex-fiance issue in the beginning of the relationship.. and then .. this other issue..and my mom, the move… I’m super stressed.. I literally feel like I’m gonna break down emotionally and I’m trying not to.. why?... I don’t know…
Anyways, Sue lightend things up for me.. she gave me history on Mike and that she thinks Mike unconsciously knows it.. but he sabatoges himself when things are going VERY GOOD for him..
She gave me several examples, like the Navy, the Fireman project..etc… and as I listened.. I found it to be true..
She calmed me down.. made me laugh a little.. said she wasn’t trying to side with Mike… but Knowing how KASSY IS.. she thinks the whole issue was really on Kassy because that’s exactly how the chick works..even when she was younger and supposably “engaged to Mike at 15” she pretty much bounced back on ex-boyfriends for sympathy on the current relationship she’s in- or well at least that what she did back in the day.. and this story was not surprising that Kassy acted like she did especially during when her father in law and niece was dying.…and she also thinks Mike isn’t the only ex-boyfriend she tried to get in touch with..now knowing the WHOLE story… Like I said before, she is a walking Jerry Springer show.. typical My mom and dad didn’t love me to much so I’m an attention whore… But enough about trailer trash… She was last years news.. but I admit.. it feels good to know that my thoughts and outlook on the trailer trash whore.. where actually all right.
Then the OTHER NEWS…
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START…
One of my VERY VERY GOOD FRIENDS… is in jail for murder… I don’t wanna say her name on here… cuz I don’t know WHAT THE FUCK is going on.. nor do I know the complete story...well.. I take that back… I just might know it all…
I sent her a facebook message on Thursday night, I haven’t heard from her in months.. prior before that she used to work across the street from me and we would always meet up on Fridays.. we’ve known each other for YEARS.. our boys played football together, our girls cheerlead together.. when she left her husband I left mine during the same time…We got closer and she became one of my BESTFRIENDS… soo whenever we had time… we would meet up at Cosmo’s and chat, play catch up on the kids, and what guys we were dating or what not at the time..We ALWAYS had interesting fun, talk time…
Anyways.. back to my message on facebook.. I sent her a message on facebook and sent her my new phone # asking to call me
When she has free time...
Later that night I get a message back from her facebook stating:
M*** Can’t talk to you-
I’m tripping out because I’m getting a message directly from her facebook…
Then I get another message…
This is her mom.. M*** is in jail.
I sent back:
Its none of my business whatever M*** is going thru, but please let her know
I’m praying for her and love her.
I remember Jocelynn showing me something on her Iphone about M*** daughter but I didn’t pay much attention to it… and then I get a call… and EVERYTHING WAS put on the table..
THIS whole situation sounds like a movie, a paperback thriller… I’m still in shock about everything. The victim was killed execution style… and the body was dumped in Vallejo at the Masonic Temple…
I want to write about everything I know.. but I can’t… I don’t even know if what was told to me all true… but, knowing this person VERY WELL… unfortunately.. I’m thinking.. it is all true…
My heart is breaking for her, her kids.. especially her baby…
And then the final blow… M*** has been sick for a couple of months I know that.. the last time I spoke with her she had just gotten out of the hospital from a 3 week stay because of a motorcycle injury.. I was Shocked about that then… she mentioned that she she’s been feeling tired and sick lately but thought because of her recent injury it was because of all the meds she was on…
Come to find out.. The day they arrested her was the day she received notice from her doctor that she is in fact HIV positive and its already fully blown.
I’M LITERALLY AT LOST FOR WORDS..
This makes me VERY scared inside… because there was a time when me and her.. where… VERY PROMISCOUS… not directly with each other..although she wanted to many times with me and asked on several occasions…Even her boyfriend last year… they asked.. if I could be a part of a 3 sum with them as a birthday gift for him…. I POLITELY DECLINED.
I’m feeling sick to my stomach… I can’t believe she’s being Charged with murder, execution style, with her children involved?... and on top of that she’s now HIV positive?
And I think my problems are bad?.... This is scary shit.. I’M NOT JOKING.. MURDER, HIV.. this is some SERIOUS SHIT..
They gave me her contact info and when I can visit her… I’M SHAKING inside when I think about all of this… I’M literally.. I think I’m freaking out inside… and I feel soo bad for all the things shes going thru…
I will visit her.. I do wanna talk to her… All I can do is be there for her kids… and just pray… I seriously need to pray.. for her, for him… for everyone.. and Mainly.. MYSELF…
Oh God- forgive me.. for everything -
