Date: April 27, 2011 Weight: 145lbs Mood:Emotional, happy, & a lil bitchy
I weighed myself yesterday.. I purposly did NOT weigh myself for about a week cuz I started my period about 3 days ago and that ALWAYS changes my weight during my time of the month... No wonder I've been on a chocolate fix lately.. and i've been SUPER horney latey.. so yea.. that explains everything... Anyways everytime I get my Aunt Flow I average a weight gain of 3- 6lbs and when Aunt flow is done.. I'm down to my normal weight..
So anyways, I weighed myself yesterday.. and the scale read 145 lbs!!! I AM SOOOO HAPPY INSIDE ABOUT THIS! I literally was jumping spining laughing... smiling.. I have 20lbs to go!! but like I mentioned before I wanna see if I can drop down to 115 and see how that works for me.
I also checked my BMI.. MY BMI was like 37 or something before.. now i'm down to a 27!!!
I Thank GOD for carrying me thru and giving me strength. This is something I've always wanted in my life.. to be fit, healthy- and I'm doing it.
I no longer have to inject myself with insulin anymore!! NOR am I taking meds for my diabetes... My Doctor pretty much told me at my last visit... I AM NO LONGER DIABETIC!!! well technically.. I no longer have to take meds because of my diet, and exercise i've been doing.. I've been able to maintain GOOD blood sugar levels! THANK YOU GOD!!!
I don't care what ANYBODY says.. if they think all this was EASY- they can kiss my ass. I workout HARD, AND stick to healthy eating choices. Yes it sounds easy.. but to live as a fat person my WHOLE LIFE. ALL OF THIS WAS HARD WORK..
I'm still not at my goal.. and yes.. inside I still feel like that "fat" girl..
Yesterday I saw one of the VP's come out of the YMCA while I was on a smoke break. She smiled and said Hello.. but when I came back up to the 3rd floor I bumped into her again.. she told me that she didn't want to embarass me in front of anyone but she said that I lost a tremendous amount of weight. and that she didn't even recognize me at first.
Even when me and Mike went to the Liquour store. We bumped into Sally and she was estatic to see me.. She didn't recognize me either.. She told me I was beautiful before but I just bloomed and became more beautiful.. That was sweet of her to say that.. it made me blush.
I notice also how people treat me diffrent.. compared to when I was fat..
and Like Mike said.. its a HARSH reality.
Like the sales guys in advertising on the 2nd floor.. those stuck up yuppies never aknowledged me before... and all of a sudden, I have 3 of them coincidentally saying Good morning to me now, holding the door for me now.. one even asked if I'd like to join him for coffee... I politely told him No thank you... but I was thinking in my head.. mother fuckers.. you've NEVER asked if I wanted coffee, never bothered holding the door, never bothered saying good morning.. and I'm still the same BITCH just smaller..
Everyone is guilty of it in some way or form of being prejudice.. its just I think its interesting me being the victim before...the "ah blah girl" and all of a sudden.. now i'm the "oh WOW girl"...
Before when my fat ass went anywhere.. and I need help or needed assistance at a store.. it would take awhile.. now.. i'm literally waited on as soon as I go into a store. Or like MEN in general.. the stares, the whistles, the gawking and making weird sounds so they could get my attention...I'm partly flattered, disgusted, and I don't know.. I feel weird about it all. I've never had soo much attention like this in my life.
Even Billys girlfriend Karen asked what I was going to do?? I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but then she asked me again.. what are you gonna do when you hit your goal weight? you look great!! are you gonna still stay with Mike??
I wasn't sure where she was going with her question.. why would I not wanna be with Mike? I'm madly in love with him....
She rephrased it.. you're losing ALOT OF WEIGHT.. and you look SOO MUCH DIFFRENT.. you're gonna get hit on alot.. ARE YOU GONNA STAY WITH MIKE? or have fun?...
I'm staying with MIke.. and I'll be having fun with him at the same time thank you very much... if anything.. I was more offended by that question.
just because I got smaller and ok granted I look diffrent or what not.. it doesn't mean i'm some freaking movie star or anything like that.. its still Me.. ANALYNN.. I'm just smaller.
Mike already senses and knows that I get uneasy when people start gawking and making a big deal about my weight loss..
I wanna help anyone out there who is struggling to lose weight.. no doubt .. i'm willing to help.. but I don't wanna stand there and talk about my WHOLE FREAKING LIFE AND WHAT I EAT AND WHAT KIND OF EXERCISE. After awhile.. I feel kinda burnt..
its funny too.. when people come up and see me.. they tell me ... ok what's your secret??? what are you taking?? I'M NOT TAKING ANYTHING~
Like my trainer said.. its really 70% of what you eat and put in your body.. and 30% of how much you workout.
Well I had an awesome workout last night.. we used the weights...and I can feel my the inside of my arms burn.. and the back of my butt.. i love that pain.. that burn... it lets me know i'm doin it right..
Well today's Hula night. I'm only working half day.. then taking the ferry home.. its always nice on the ferry.. especially on a sunny day like this..
145 baby!!!! 20 more to go!!!!
