I need to get out of this funky, hurt, wuss, fucked up
state.. I don’t like who I am right now…
I don’t like the way I feel inside.. all this negativity-this
is NOT ME…. I need to get away from EVERYONE-
Just disappear.. go to a place where I don’t know ANYONE.. and
Chill, relax, refocus on the priorities, get back in tune.
I broke down to my mom … she knows I’m going thru something tuff
inside..
My anxiety is at its Peak, I feel severely super depressed …
like theres nothing for me to look forward to…
Ever… I told her I wish Herbie didn’t die.. I wished it was
me instead- My mom almost slapped me.
The look she gave me… then the hurt she had in her face..
made me feel even worse.
I am soooo BLESSED WITH
many things.. I shouldn’t think or be like this.. Forgive me God for even thinking like that... I've accomplished things that some people don't ever get to experience... yet now i'm here ... and i feel like I'm literally in the darkest bottom of the hole... falling..... further and deeper in.... I need to just GO- get up... move... scream, shout, cry, punch...get it all out of my system till its gone.. till I can't take it anymore..
