Kirstie texted me yesterday to let me know she saved me a shirt that Herbie's friends made for the after party on Saturday.. We'll be kickin it LIVE at Lucky Strike in Hollywood right next to the Staples Convention Center.. this is gonna be soo cool... I heard there were going to be a couple of celebs there too...
I texted back to Kirstie.. It soo cool that we're gonna party like this.. but yet soooo fucking sad that the Herbalishus wont be with us...
I miss him madly... I'm thankful to God I still have Elgin- and that's one of my biggest things when I get to Hollywood and see him... Him and Erwin... I just wanna hug him hard.. and tell him personally that I love him for life, that he is not only my cuz but fo -reals .. they are my bros........then the thought of Herbie comes to mind... and fuck, I am not ready to see my cuz laying in a coffin.. I don't know how I am going to react...
just writing about this now..makes me shake inside..brings tears to my eyes...
Even right now.. with the little dumb bullshit... Thinking about Herbie.. how his life was.. how soooo many people knew him and loved him... so many thoughtful loving fun notes they left on his facebook.. i've read over hundereds, literally from diffrent people from New York to the Bay... Herbie had Mad luv from everyone from everywhere...
And with that.. I take it as a blessing... because life is bigger than little dumb bullshit.. Life is about Family... and it doesn't mean by blood.. but literally by Loyalty, respect, love-
Herbie was always traveling, having fun, making the best with what he had... and with his example.. I will also TRY to be the same... because I know... being negative, being bitter, only makes you ugly, and a waste of energy.... I don't want my kids to trip off stupid shit either... I want them to trip off the big shit.. education, going places, learning new things-
so now I'm exhaling.. and i'll keep my head up because I KNOW that's what my cuzzo would want...
to NOT trip off the tid bits.. but to devour the BIG JUICY BIG parts of what life has to offer...
Thanks Herbie.. Keep looking after me.. I love you soo much.. I know you know my temper.. and thanks for helping me keep my cool... Man I miss you like crazy... I miss you bro... badly
